Bismillah,

Alhamdulillah.
Peace and Blessings be upon Prophet Muhammad SAW , his family and companions.

9 Feb 2016

I have always felt this stinging pang every time I saw a beggar. I tried to identify this particular feeling but I would always end up with no answer. 
Sympathy. Empathy. Sad. I know these feelings but it was not the unbearable pang that would haunt me for minutes, soemtimes hours or days.

Alhamdulillah Taala, a few days ago, Allah Taala sorted it out for me.
It was the feeling of envy mixed with uncertainty. 

Envy because they lead a hard life but still manage to smile , still manage to say Thank YOU Allah, still manage to become a 'teacher' to the people around them, They are way more patient, and advanced in knowing the meaning of true happiness.
Uncertain because no matter how much I envy them, I do not think I am capable to trade shoes with them, not yet. I am not that strong.
The most painful pang is felt right at this point.

The pain caused was not in looking at how hard their lives were but in looking at myself and realising I still had a long way to go in being what I was supposed to be. The pain is caused by my ownself.

O Allah, please lead us to the straight path, the path that you are pleased with, and please detach us from anything that hinders us from being closer to you. Aameen.